There comes a time in everyone’s life when you just have to be the cheesy tourist.
Like pretending to push the Leaning Tower of Pisa upright for a photo, or sitting astride a massive clog in Amsterdam, we are all united in the fact that as much as we love to laugh at people who engage in such tomfoolery, we love it equally as much.
Our cheesy tourist day came in Melaka, midway through our visit to Malaysia. After the ordeal of having had the ends of my hair butchered by a ladyboy, I was in desperate need of some cheering up. Luckily, there are some men with plastic flowers and boomboxes for that. And by that of course I mean the trishaw drivers that line the streets of the city’s Red Dutch Square, outside the oft-photographed Christ Church.
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Similar to modern day rickshaws, these trishaw in Melaka are all adorned in colourful plastic flowers and flashing lights, in order to vie for the attention of the passing tourist trade. They also compete in who can play their terrible music the loudest, with often hilarious results (it’s the first time I’ve ever heard Ace of Base and Pitbull in the same playlist). Taking a ride in one of these lewd vehicles whilst the driver puffs and pants next to you in a veritable rite of passage in Melaka. And so we took a night time ride.
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As it was a week night and the majority of tourists who come to the city for the weekend night market had long since left, it was a quite ride through the streets, with our driver pointing out interesting buildings along the way.
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I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy myself. It was actually one of the highlights of my time in Melaka. And you know what? Sometimes that’s the reason cheesy tourist attractions are famous for being cheesy; because they’re so fun that everyone can’t help but join in on the action.
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