You Found My Site HOW????

I suppose with a crazy blog name like Homeless and Confused I should’ve expected that there would be some slightly “odd” variations on that search term to bring people to my site. However some are just plain worrying and downright nonsensical, so I thought I would share with you some of the more humorous ones that have graced my statistics lately. I don’t know what is worse, the fact that people search for this stuff, or the fact that I have compiled a whole post around it in order to poke fun at them. Either way, I enjoyed myself.

“confusing Vietnamese things”

I understand that Asia can be bewildering and scary, and certainly confusing, but would you care to narrow down exactly which confusing things it is you’re looking for?

“drinking made me homeless”

Wow. Sorry to hear that. Hope the alcoholism is working out for you.

“do Vietnamese use toilet paper?”

I would love to say yes, but judging by the lack of it in so many toilets, this is dubious. Carry some tissues with you just in case.

“fanny sundae”

You need help. That is all.

“how to get on homeless list”

Wait, there is a list? Why have I not heard of this before??

“what to do on a stupid rainy day”

Bake? Read a good book? Read my blog? Oh no, wait, you’re already doing that. Awesome. Keep up the good work.

“should I sell my house before I go travelling?”

Ummm. Yes. Or maybe that should be no. I have no clue. How big is your house? You could give it to me. For free. And then go travelling.

“change my life”

Is that a command? Sheesh, talk about pressure. Ok, give me a couple of days and I’ll put together an action plan.

“jealous about people going travelling“

Aren’t we all? Get off your backside and do something about it

“how to make a chick not be confused about love”

Woah. Where do I begin, dude? I think this one may be a lost cause. If she’s told you she’s “confused about love” it’s not a good sign. It’s a bit like the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech. Maybe I can hook you up with the drunk homeless person above?

“most fun you will ever have”

Gee, thanks. I am pretty fun. Can I use this as a quote on my homepage?!

“funny how life doesn’t work out the way you planned it” 

Amen to that. Although I can’t believe you actually typed all that into Google…

“my girlfriend booty shaking”

Step away from the blog….. There are no pictures and/or video of your girlfriend shaking her booty here. I made sure I took them all down. Speak to my lawyer for further clarification.

“praying with beer bottle nearby”

The only way to pray, in my opinion.

“my father is homeless”

May I suggest he puts his name on the homeless list? They apparently have one of those.

“don’t I deserve a goodbye?”

Of course you do. Goodbye.

“I am hungover”

Well, we’ve all been there. Although I’m not quite sure why you’re telling me. Or Google. But we both appreciate the thought.

“jokes about karaoke”

Um, I don’t know any jokes about karaoke. How about an E.T. joke instead?
What’s E.T. short for?……..
Because he’s got little legs.