When I think about next year I know that I’m doing it for me, nobody else. I know this is something that I not only want, but need – a break from the constrictive life I built for myself that turned out to be the exact opposite of what I actually wanted.
But then I think about some of the people close to me who will never take a big trip like this, whether they would like to or not, and it makes me think that maybe part of me is also doing this for them. On their behalf. Because they will never experience it, I want to experience it twice as hard.
My Grandma
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My Grandma has never been on a plane in her life. She is now at the ripe old age of 94 and has never once flown to a foreign destination. That isn’t to say that she has never been abroad. She visited a handful of cities in Europe when she helped escort coach trips of people with learning disabilities when she was younger. But can you imagine never having flown in your life? Ever? It seems ludicrous to me. And my Grandma will never know what it is like; she is too old and infirm to ever fly now. And this makes me sad.
When I visited Vietnam last year my Grandma was incredulous: “They actually offer holidays to Vietnam????” she asked me. And then followed it with “There was a war there, you know.”
I travel because it broadens the mind and it saddens me that people of this generation have missed out on so much, often through no choice of their own.
My Best Friend
My best friend is a whole different kettle of fish. She could travel, if she wanted to. She is living back at home. She is single. She has quite a good disposable income. But unfortunately my friend has subscribed to the “get a job, get married, have kids and then retire” way of life. She wouldn’t care if she only went on one beach holiday a year, as long as she had a house and husband.
This not only saddens me, it frustrates me. I can see the kind of person she could be if she went travelling and lived for the moment for a while. But she can’t. She is too focussed on pursuing the 2.4 Dream.
And that’s ok. As long as she’s happy, then I’m happy. But I’ll be travelling for her, enjoying all the experiences she could have if only she allowed herself to.
My Dogs
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Last but not least are my dogs, the biggest sacrifice of this whole trip. I miss them EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Just thinking about them makes me want to cry and I am hoping that this feeling subsides once I am in unfamiliar surroundings. But without a doubt I am travelling majorly for them. Because I don’t want their sacrifice to have been in vain. I want to make sure that it was worth it.
Every time I toast a sunset or witness something breathtaking next year, I will think of them and how much happiness they brought me. But also how being selfish led to a better life not only for me but for them as well.
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